Hair in Heaps

Everything’s coming to an end

I can feel it now

it’s growing up

growing away

and I can’t seem to reach the things I knew to be mine

and I’m not complaining

I’m not about to stop it

but it’s ending

this life as I knew it

it’s ending

and the faces I knew

will soon by the faces I remember

if my memory holds on long enough.

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Waking From A Dream That Felt More Like A Dream Than Anything Else

All of this

it will never matter

and I’ve come to realize that

that nothing matters

not once the breath leaves my lungs

my legs rest

it won’t matter

all of this

it doesn’t matter

none of it matters

and it won’t

it won’t matter

not when I’m dead

when the world dies around me

I couldn’t care less

but I care now

I care for the breath that sits in my chest

I care for the way my legs twitch

showing me I’m alive

I care

I do

for now

for now I care

and to care

to care for something is far better than to wish for nothing.

If My Mouth Shut Up

I’m thinking about staying silent

not speaking

not moving

only breathing when I need to.

I’m thinking about not stopping

stopping to think

to overthink

and I’m thinking

I’m thinking all the same.

My thoughts mean nothing now

not to me

not to the person who’s actually thinking them up

they mean nothing

not then

certainly not now.

It’s taken all my courage to write this

this poem

if it can be classed as poetry

it’s taken me hours to just sit

sit and think

and thinking about it now

I should’ve stayed silent.

The Bedsheets Were Stuck

I’m late again

because I just don’t want to go

and I’m searching

scraping around the edges of my mind for an excuse

and there’s nothing

perhaps-

what if I just don’t go?

The guilt would kill me

it would

it would kill me

but I’m late again

I just don’t want to go

again

again

it happens

again

and at this rate

I’ll spend the rest of my life

inside

and to be honest

I don’t really mind

being inside

safe

never late

what a life.

Tapping Grey

Shadows are changing now

starting to look more like faces

faces without eyes.

I’ve never liked the dark

but you, you told me the emptiness meant everything

I want to mean something

like the dark, I want to-

they’re changing now, the shadows, changing now

starting to look more like faces

there’s you,

you’re in the dark

searching for a meaning

once more.