We All Say It With Ease

Goodbyes hang on the tip of my tongue

I want to say-

I want to scream it

GOODBYE

but in saying it

I’m admitting to the end

the end of something that once was the beginning

and if I don’t say it?

It will only grow

it will only go

go as everything does

away

and onto the beginning of another useless word.

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Sitting and Watching the Fat Grow Thin

There’s no other way to explain

but to explain and hope the words find their way out.

I’m struggling to understand

to even know what to say

I’m stuck

stuck in this life and everyday

everyday I find a meaning behind finding no meaning at all

when will it end?

There’s no other way to explain the colours that flash into my mind when thinking

thinking of nothing

just empty patches of white where my memories should be

and flashes of black as I drift to sleep.

I was hoping these words would find their way out

but it seems

as always

they remain silent

allowing my brain to continue to beat out poems like this.

What a beautiful day to waste the talent of yesterday.

The Anonymity of Change

There’s a lot to change

but for now

I’m content

and what a wonderful thing to scribble down on a page no one will see

I’m content

my words still remain unknown

my face still

no one knows

but I’m content

secure within my own anonymity

and there’s still a lot I could change

there is

but I can’t say I will

as of yet.

Looking at it This Way

I can just picture it now,

my mother balling down the stairs,

tears looking like two rivers

on either side of her face.

I don’t know much about death

but, as time continues to roll

forward, I’m learning as I go

and I’m waiting,

waiting for the day my mother

bounds down the stairs,

rivers overflowing,

not knowing where to look,

mouth mumbling something

I can’t even understand

and I’ll,

I’ll be able to do nothing,

just nothing.

I think death,

It’s a brilliant concept for the lazy:

sit back,

do nothing

and wait.

We can all do that.

Getting Older

Just remember the poetry

when all else is gone

remember the words

see the words

words that flash up in the corners of the mind

where memories once were.

Just remember the poetry

when all else disappears

and meaning filters away

just remember the faces

the lines written for each one

just remember

when all else is gone

it’s gone

the world will turn to a darker shade of light

and the sun will look more like the moon.

Just remember the poetry

just remember this poetry

if it can even be classed as such

just remember us

the artist’s who

despite everything

will always try to create

whilst the sun moulds into the back of the moon

and memories spell out letters

screaming out verses

we can’t even remember.

TODAY’S

Today’s awful

I already know it

already feel it

today’s awful

tomorrow

tomorrow looks brighter

I’d quite like to roll onto tomorrow

can I do that?

I’ve felt lower

much lower but today’s-

today feels like

like walking into a room and knowing no one but still continuing to sit down anyway.

Today’s awful

and today

I thought I’d do something

piece together my life and glue together the bits that fit

today I thought I’d wake up and see midday through with a coffee and a book

but the coffee’s cold

and the books

the books are written by far greater artists than I

so I

I leave the envy to someone else

and I wish I could leave the reality of today to someone else

but I must live it

through it

beyond it

until I breathe with it

instead of against

it.

Why We Do It

I write for

the artists that are comfortable

and the artists that are not.

I write for those

those who possess the same hunger as I

the hunger to more than this body

more than this life.

I write for

myself

in the hope I’ll hear the voice of my better-self and take note.

I write for

the critics that will listen

and the critics that will not.

I write for

the memories that seat themselves within me

and I write

I write for those I’ve forgot.

This is why I do it

to feel something

and make others feel alike

not for the eyes

not for the crowds

I write

I breathe

I breathe and write

alike.