One and Six

I want,

so badly,

to belong

in this,

to be

a part

of this; 

to wake

each morning 

and know,

know this 

will be

waiting, waiting

at the 

door, which 

remains open,

just as

long as

I- 

I want,

so desperately,

to belong 

in this,

to be 

a part

of this; 

to have

faith in

the knowledge 

that I 

am good

at this,

belong in 

this, am

in this;

whatever ‘this’ 

may be. 

Waking to Silence in the Afternoon 

Slipping my hand

into the space

where yours

once was-

I marvel at the lightness,

the emptiness 

that sits within

my palms. 

I could go,

go some place else,

where the air 

feels tighter 

but the memories looser-

but, instead,

I cling to empty space,

dreaming of you,

waking in silence. 

Dancing Along in My Head

I thought that I was sitting;

my legs fell,

my hands threw themselves 

up in the air

and, apparently, I was standing,

although, I thought I was sitting-

but I guess none

of that really matters. 

So my legs fell,

my hands panicked 

and my eyes started to droope

like dead roses- 

but I guess none 

of that really matters. 

See, the truth is,

I thought I heard your voice,

I thought I heard you

screaming my name;

I imagined you running to

my aid,

standing me up (although I was already, apparently) 

and shaking my head

along with the breeze-

but I know none of that

really matters.  

I know what- 

nothing really matters,

like the villians say

in comic books;

am I the villain? 

’cause I had you

down as that,

seeing as I’m the one

being second-glanced at,

at the train station

on another, troubsome Friday night. 

But like I said,

none of that really matters,

not anymore. 

23:45 Fri 

Quick Sweep 

The addiction 

bleeds its way

into my veins 

The addiction 

eats away at

my brain 

The addiction 

caresses my skin 

as I sleep 

The addiction

laughs at my body

weak

The addiction  

sits and twiddles 

with its fingers 

The addiction

makes its way into my vision 

and lingers 

The addiction 

leads me somewhere

where

The addiction 

knows not where I should go

but where I am now

The addiction 

is becoming the esscene of my father 

proud

The addiction 

is growing 

I can feel it in my womb 

The addiction

begs for me to return

to return soon

The addiction

allows me no 

time to rest 

Return soon?  

Oh, I never left. 

Earrings in Dust

As the laughter 

fills my ears

to the brim;

I smile, 

I grin,

for the sake

of doing-

doing something. 

As the sound

carries itself 

to my open arms,

I marvel

at the calm,

the breeze

that soaks my skin 

of all pointless things;

I smile,

I grin,

for the sake of doing-

doing something. 

And as the noise 

begins to settle,

my mouth fills 

with the taste of metal-

one bite,

two bites,

three-

I smile,

I grin,

as the life inside

wakes and begins.