Marble Lining

I poured my soul

out to you

and you

you said you couldn’t

stand the mess

and so

I tried to

well I tried to clean it up

throw it all back in

but once the words started

the mess started

and the words wouldn’t stop

the mess wouldn’t stop

and you

you said you had to leave

you felt sick

I felt tired

and I said

I screamed

PLEASE DON’T GO

and you

you turned to face me

eyes glazed

and you

you said

if the soul produces this much mess

you’d never have asked for one in the first place.

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Touching the Air of Memory

There’s something sitting

between us,

stirring within us

and I-

I want to scream-

I want to be able to,

well, to see it;

it feels like it’s rotting,

right there,

in the empty space

between us and the air,

it carries on, gingerly breezing

through the passage of

warmth we’ve created.

I want to see it,

this “something”,

I want to touch

it, scoop it up,

feel its warmth in

my arms;

I want to see it.

There’s something between us,

something I cannot see

nor even try to;

something so large,

all we can do,

all we must do

is wait- close our eyes

and wait.

Wait for a sign,

an ending to all-

a beginning.

The Drug Between You and I

I said I wouldn’t

I said

I wouldn’t do it again

but again

the night shifts ever-so slightly

and I’m lost

lost between the wrongs blurred within the rights

I’m right

whatever I choose to do is right

but I said I wouldn’t

I said I wouldn’t because

because I was content

I am content

but contentment

it has a funny way of disappearing when the promise of euphoria dangles in front of the eyes

but I didn’t

I did

but I didn’t

I said I wouldn’t

but I have

and it will continue

it will continue the same as before

like everything

it continues the same

ends the same

and stops

never.

I’ve Been

I’ve been screaming

I may not be the loudest but

I’ve been screaming

creating such a noise and you

you haven’t heard me yet

or simply haven’t decided to hear me

yet but

I’ve been screaming

I’ve been trying to reach you

I thought I did reach you

perhaps you simply decided to ignore my touch but

I’ve been screaming

could you not hear?

I thought you could

you thought you couldn’t and we

go on

we go on

I’ve been screaming

you’ve been

I don’t know what you’ve been doing

but I

I know only if I

and I

I’ve been screaming.

If I Were the Same

I want the world,

I want these words,

I need them to

build,

to build the very life

I know I deserve;

I want it to open up,

look down on me

and know that, for once,

I am deserving of the

attention.

These words,

I need them

to deserve,

to deserve this whole world;

if the sky

could- if it could

just open up or,

just stay shut, at least

I’d know where

I fit.

See, I want

the world and

I know, I believe

I deserve the world

but, there’s a nagging-

a pain- sitting within

my head, telling me,

it’s telling me to

stop and soon,

soon I’ll stop

and I want

the world

but, it seems, the world,

it doesn’t want me or,

perhaps,

it’s simply just not ready.

I haven’t decided.

Looking Different to the Rest

If you want structure

I suggest

you start reading someone else

the meaning’s here

somewhere

but the structure

the one mentioned by

countless before is

well

it’s not gone

but it’s

it’s gone

so if you’re wanting “poetry”

as the teachers call it

you won’t find here

the meaning’s here

lost in the woodwork of this machine we call

art

but the structure

I’m afraid the structure

it hasn’t passed my eyes

or even crossed my mind

and I doubt it will.